For a number of reasons, most of us become so wrapped up in our relationships, that break-ups can sometimes turn out to be a dreaded experience if and when our partners choose to be separated from us.
From enduring days of crying, pleading with our partner to reconsider, campaigning at their relatives, sinking into depression, and not knowing how to continue with our lives thereafter or how we will be able to love again, the list of behavioral situations that follows abrupt separation in a relationship is seemingly never-ending.
And even though some separation situations gets physical, most of it is severely emotional, and are therefore almost difficult for a third person to effectively analyze and advise upon.
Simply put, shedding tears and expressing other emotional tantrums are not abnormal, but it do have a tolerable scale at which it should be considered maxed out.
After all, expressing these emotional tantrums even publicly, would most likely push the person more quickly away from you, or even causing them to become afraid of ever being with you, again.
In the end, your emotional drama can turn out to be a long-term psychological and emotional disaster for you, rather than a headache for them.
Therefore, even though someone choosing to break off from a relationship with you can be a devastating experience, there are still a few things that you can do, to overcome the dumping and restructure your life again.
And if overcoming your break-up and recovering as a stronger person really matters to you, then you need to consider these five suggestions, among other things, to get you there.
1 – Take some time to cry, its ok; – If you are really emotional about being dumped and it did hurt you, believe me; it is ok for you to cry.
After all, researchers have proven that crying helps to relinquish the effect of an emotional situation or any hurt, and is, therefore, a good thing.
But the best way to do it is to take some time off and relax alone in your room or some other really private space and cry as long as you want, or even as often as you want. I am sure that you will realize that you cried long enough, when that time comes.
Thereafter it will be difficult to actually cry over the same situation again.
2 – Do not force yourself to move on; – Emotions do not die overnight, and it is not something to force your way out of.
Affection takes time to go away, because it often takes months to build.
Therefore, there is nothing wrong with you missing that person, dragging out through love songs, or having thoughts every thirty seconds of the day about them over several weeks.
I can assure you that after a few weeks or a few months (it varies), you will have to beg yourself to remember ex; because they naturally become a hidden element of your past.
3 – Do not plea with anyone or make any calls; – Texting or calling your ex for them to explain why he or she had left you, or calling up their mom, best friend, co-worker or the local Pastor to lament about him/ her leaving you is a definite no-no.
In reality, this only makes the situation worse, and can widen the emotional realm of your separation and thus prolonged your depression.
In almost every case, protesting and calling up people only makes the person more angry at you, and will definitely push them further away from you.
In other words, calling and texting to complain would only make the situation worst, and should be avoided at all costs, especially after you had taken a shot of Vodka.
So just leave it as it is.
4 – Reflect on the bad times; – Repeated studies have shown that the more someone reflects on the bad times they had with someone in a relationship, and the bad things that that partner made them went through, the more likely it will be for them to despise that former partner.
And by extension, they would subsequently want nothing more to do with that ex.
So stop fooling yourself and admit that you had some bad times with that person, and which you would never want to be repeated in your life ever again.
I am betting that if you keep recollecting and regretting those bad times, it will be more than adequate reasons for you to thank God for removing that person from your life.
5 – Do not rush to restart a relationship; – It is often better to try and repair yourself slowly than to rush into another relationship hoping that you will find comfort and restoration there.
In reality, you are an emotional wreck, who would choose to stoop lower in life just to make the new relationship work. Because, in essence, you are simply relying on that new relationship to help you to bring your love life back together from the first one.
And if that is what you are trying to do by rushing to find acceptance from someone else, then you are setting yourself up for a longer and more painful recovery period.
After all, you are only digging a hole to fill another hole; and there will be a price to pay at some point for doing just that.
While the above five guidelines are not a complete list of the things that you can do to speedily overcome a break-up, they still form the core aspects of what needs to be done to be on your way to recovery.
For a more detailed guideline, in addition to other tested tips and advises, I will strongly recommend that you pick up a copy of my book, “25 Ways to overcome separation and Loneliness” and “25 Ways to Overcome a nasty divorce”.