The Complexities Of Unfaithfulness


From the beginning of time unfaithfulness has secured its reputation as a penetrating torn in the sides of many relationships.
This is because unlike cheating, unfaithfulness carries a number of different elements that affects marriages and relationships in a more extended way.

However, the word “cheating” and the word “unfaithful” are often used interchangeably in relationship contexts, and are often mistakenly classified as the same thing.

To better understand this point, you must note that cheating is a form of seeking temporary pleasure or an intermittent act where there is no long term commitment by either partners. As such, the cheating partner tries their best to preserve all of the elements of their existing relationship, and will still continue to have love and affection for the partner that they are cheating on.

Furthermore, cheaters do not give up certain elements of their relationships or would not divulge inside issues about their relationship to the person that they are cheating with. This is because trusts among cheaters are limited to whatever they are set out to do for their respective benefit.
Interestingly, a cheating woman would more than likely carry on an affair with a man simply for the material, emotional or sexual benefit of that affair. Nothing else.

And if caught, they are more than likely to immediately let the cheating relationship go while doing their best to rescue their marriage or fix their cheating mistakes with the affected partner.

On the other hand, unfaithfulness is a rather intricate psychosomatic scenario in which the cheating partner is no longer loyal to their marriage or a relationship with you and would have lost all real connection to you or the relationship itself.
Overtime, their affection, love and loyalty would have been more focused on someone else in as much that they would hate the thought of being with you or may create all forms of unreasonable flaws about you within their mindset.

If caught, they are less than likely to give up on the cheating relationship, and may struggle to find a future in it, even if there is no logical reason why they would want to do so.

When this occurs, the unfaithful partner can practically evolve into a state of emotional denial, which can create the illusion that there is no detriment or degradation of their circumstances after leaving you.
As such, even if they migrate (in the name of unfaithfulness) into an abused, financially unstable, or emotionally imbalanced relationship, you will still be nothing more than a circumstantial spare wheel.
To them, you will more than likely be willing to serve as a source of rescue in troubled situations, be a source of emergency financial support, or serve a spare partner if their new relationships do not work out.

In general, unfaithful partners are hardly likely to rekindle a genuine relationship with you, but would always want to create a situation where you will stupendously blame yourself for the wrong that they are doing. And as such, make you feel as if you are obligated to take them back each time that their outside relationship fails.

And if you are an emotional wreck, you will be somewhat willing to give hope to a renewed relationship with your returning prodigal partner, probably hoping that each unfaithful episode was their last.

In my book, How to Deal With Broken Relationships, I had caution the reader against trying to salvage this type of relationship, since it is more or less, a relationship of emotional and material convenience.

The truth is that your partner would try to provide all sort of silly reasons why they had ran out on you. But if you don’t allow your emotions to override the reality, you will realize that their excuses do not make any practical sense.

At best, they will try to trick you into believing that it was your fault or rather try to blame you for their deceitful ways and their unfaithfulness.

From saying that you never had time for them to claiming that you cause them to lose affection for you, their list of psychological blame cards would not stop at any point.

And while everyone has the right to an excuse, the worst thing that you can do is to fall for their lying and conniving piece of junk each time.

At best, it will be ok for you to forgive, but it will be better for you to stop allowing yourself to be your unfaithful partner’s spare wheel.
In other words, you can forgive an unfaithful wife or husband, but you will be destroying your own life and your well being, each time that you allow them back into your life again.

After all, there is a time when you need to let them know that caterpillars would not forever be vulnerable worms on the limb of a plant. Because there has to be a time when nature shed their skins, gives them wings as butterflies and let them know that there is always a time to move on.

You have a choice.

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